Ending a relationship can by a stressful event in anyone’s life. When a couple part ways, be it voluntarily or enforced upon you by your partner, it can be a tough, complex, and confusing journey injected with a wide range of emotions. Everyone’s journey is different, and the way you feel, and the intensity of your emotions, will change over time.
Some common feelings experienced may include:
- Excitement and fresh hope for the future
Physically you may feel tired, have trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, and are more susceptible to sickness.
There is a lot of advice around for how to cope with separation, some of which may resonate with you and some that you want to rip up and throw in the bin.
Some tips that my help you in your journey are:
- Mourn the loss. Tears, sadness, and grieving may be part of the healing process and it is all ok because you need to feel sad and angry. This is not a time to push it down and pretend as if everything is fine.
- Be mindful of what you say and do. It is easy to by impulsive when driven by anger, sadness and/or resentment.
- Understand the legalities. This allows you to put safe and healthy boundaries in place whilst you walk work through your separation.
- Even if the goal is making the relationship work after separation, it is important for you to accept the change in your life. It may work out and it may not.
- Have realistic expectations of yourself. Things have changed, and it is unrealistic to expect that you will be functioning at 100% all the time.
- Talk things through. Find family and friends you can confide in. Maybe attend counselling or a support group.
- Nurture yourself. Make sure you eat well and exercise. Take time to connect with activities you enjoy
- Seek further support, be it financially, legally, or psychologically. Use every resource you can find for coping with separation and getting you through to the other side.
- As thing settle, begin to rebuild. It may be hard but take time to make new friends and embrace new opportunities. For you this may mean taking little steps or it may happen in big leaps and bounds.
Separating from a partner is a painful process, and, if you’re like most people, it will take some time to heal as you work through the myriad of emotions that challenge you along the way. This is normal, so be patient with yourself.
Coping with separation means learning how to take care of you needs, mourn the loss, and prepare for the future. The good news is that through the challenges and changes ahead, most people go on to lead happy and fulfilling lives.
Please don’t ever feel that you must do this alone. There are many services available to offer support as you navigate your way through this tough journey.
South West Counselling Inc.
Ph (08) 9754 2052
Ph. 13 11 44
Ph. 1300 22 4636
Family Relationships Advice Line
Ph. 1800 050 321